Initiative with Authority

And He put all things under His feet and gave Him as Head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.
…holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and held together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God.
(Ephesians 1:22, 23; Colossians 2:19)

A few years back when my oldest son was in his early teens he got it in his head that he could outrun his dad in a 100 yard dash. Of course his dad denied this, and a challenge ensued. The date, time, and place were set. Although his siblings planned to be in attendance, perhaps because of premonition, I preferred that Gayline was not. A good thing.

The day came, the race began, and as I reached mid-course I felt something odd. Seeing the back of my son’s body, I desperately tried to lengthen my stride as I’d done effortlessly in days gone by. I then signaled my legs to shift up a gear up to close the gap. But neither brain-to-leg message worked. Neither signal got a response. I felt like never before that my body and mind were living a separate existence. My body defied my head. In effect the race was over. About ten strides later when my hamstring popped, it really was over.

I knew in that head-hanging moment that my brain and my body would be on different wave-lengths for the duration. Things were no longer going to work as they were intended. Body rebellion was to become the norm.

Sometimes we overlook the obvious until a glitch shows up. We live with the head being in charge of the body, but don’t think about that authority relationship until age or disease monkey with the connection.

I think that we’ve missed the obvious in God’s choice of words for a husband. He’s the head. That means at least in some sense he’s in charge. The metaphor’s not that hard to grasp: headship implies authority. As the head of a body exercises a very real authority over the body, so the husband has a very real authority over the wife.

In Ephesians, where Paul says that the husband is head of the wife, this authority dimension cannot be missed. As Ephesians 1:21, 22 make clear, the Supreme Model of Headship, Jesus Christ, is clearly the Authority in the Church. No one who takes the Bible seriously would doubt His headship authority. Why then do we balk at headship authority in the marriage relationship in which the husband’s role is said to be patterned after the Savior’s? It seems to be a denial of the obvious.

Husband-heads are ordained by God to have authority in the home, an authority to which God calls wives to submit respectfully.

Jesus holds gracious authority in the Church to lead it into the growth that comes from God. He holds edifying authority so He may fill the church with the fullness of His grace. He knows what the Father’s plan for the Church is, and He exercises initiating authority to carry it out. This fits well with the following definition of spiritual leadership:

“Spiritual leadership is knowing where God wants people to be, and taking the initiative to get them there by God’s means in reliance on God’s power” (John Piper).

Authority rightly exercised has less to do with power than with grace-motivated initiative. And it has nothing to do with a “king of the roost” or “lord of my domain” egotism. As husbands, we are called to serve wife and kids by knowing where God wants our families to be, and then doing whatever it takes to get them there, using God’s means of example, encouragement, teaching, warning, planning, perseverance, self-sacrifice, and prayer.

In Genesis 1, God made Adam and Eve to have dominion over creation. God gave that authority to Adam (in Genesis 2) before Eve was made. Adam then exercised it in caring for the garden, naming the animals, and then naming Eve herself.

It is in that context that God declares that it was “not good for the man to be alone” and that He would make Adam “a helper fit for him”. So God did not make Eve because Adam was lonely so much as because Adam needed help having dominion. She was to yield to his authority in order to share his authority over the earth.

There’s a good safe-guard here against perverse male dominance. This Genesis 2 model suggests that while the man’s authority is real, it is not absolute or independent. Husbands have authority, but they are inadequate to wield that authority without the strong help and complementary gifts of their wives.

This is what Paul means in I Corinthians 11 when he says that the “woman was made for the man”. Paul wasn’t saying that women are men’s servants to fulfill their whims, but that women are men’s helpers to do God’s will; to help them take initiative to get the family and world where God wants it to be. Brothers: we have been called to initiative with authority, with our wives at our side.

I don’t know about you but while I’ve never been the commanding type of husband (I can’t recall 10 times in 31 years when I’ve told my wife what to do), I also have to say that not until recently did I embrace my full role as spiritual initiator. For years I’ve overlooked areas of spiritual need in my life and in my wife, choosing instead to be passive. Now I know that God has called me to exercise a real grace-filled initiating authority in my wife’s life, to lead her upward and onward even more in the things of God.

Are you with me on this?

Application and Reflection Exercises

1. Review the Piper quote about spiritual leadership. Then review your marriage and family needs. List those areas of concern in which you know your wife and children are not where God wants people to be.
2. List one or two specific steps you can initiate to make progress in the three areas of need identified yesterday.
3. Think about this question: “Are you the functional leader of your home or just a leader in word and theory only? Who exerts greater initiative for the spiritual and other needs of your family; you or your wife?
4. Would you call yourself a spiritual visionary for your family? What’s your vision for where God wants your wife and family to be (spiritually) 5 years from now?
5. What do you think you ought to do if your wife struggles to follow your initiative?

Representative Headship

…in Christ…
For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.
(Ephesians 1:3, 9, 12, etc.; 1 Corinthians 15:22)

As indicated earlier, in reading Ephesians we find the phrases “in Christ” and “in Him” 25-30 times. We are said to be: given every spiritual blessing, chosen, forgiven, adopted, redeemed, made heirs, sealed with the Holy Spirit, made alive, empowered, and even ascended into heaven—all in Christ.

This phrase is theologically and devotionally rich, for it reveals the representative headship of Christ in behalf of the Church. We are in Him. That means that He represents us before the Father in all that He is, and has, and has done. When He died He died representing us, so our sins were punished in Him. When He rose we rose in Him. When He ascended, we ascended with and in Him. Since he is the Heir of God, we are heirs of God, because we are in Him (Romans 8:17).

Gayline and I have had the joy of speaking at a Bible camp every summer for the past 15-20 years. It happens to be the camp where Gayline and I met (we’re paying off a debt of gratitude to the folks there for helping us find each other!). Each week I’m there I speak ten times, and Gayline and I engage with campers and counselors in whatever way we can to leave a mark of grace on their lives. I mention that just to make a point.

In addition to the joy of camp work, this ministry also has provided something for my kids: a free week of camp, even when they were too young to be campers. Well, free to them anyway. Here’s how it’s worked. You could say that the children were in us. Gayline and I would work and serve and teach while the kids would play and eat and sleep—all for free. Since they were with us, they got all the benefits that we enjoyed, at our expense. We earned it; they enjoyed it. They were represented by us and received their food and fun because they stood in our shadow and bore our name. What we did was done for them. We paid the price; they got the perks.

That is similar to the biblical concept of representative headship, a concept that goes all the way back to Adam. The first man represented the whole human race so that when he sinned all sinned, and all died as a result (Romans 5:12-14; 1 Corinthians 15:22).

The representation idea continued throughout the Old Testament in every family. Time and again husbands and fathers stood up as representatives of their families at national events and celebrations. In this role they would speak, or make decisions, or renew covenants in their families’ behalf. When Joshua issued his famous words: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 23:15), he was functioning as the representative of his home.

The representative headship of men is woven into the fabric of Biblical revelation. Again, going back to Adam we see this concept in God’s choice to name male and female, man (the word He uses in Genesis 5:1, 2 is Adam, which translates the Hebrew word for man). What this means is that the practice of calling the human race man or mankind is rooted in God’s mind, not a chauvinist’s. Adam represented Eve and all humans to follow. We could say that humanity is Adamkind.

All these examples of representation reveal why the metaphor of the head is chosen by God to refer to the husband/father role. My body’s head is what people see. It’s what gives the first impression (not a happy thought as I look in the mirror). In other words, my head is what represents my body.

So what does this representative headship mean in real time and space? As head of my wife and home, I represent both before God and others. Practically this means that if I’m a Christian, my family members receive blessings because they are in me, which accounts for all the Bible’s promises of grace to believers and to their children (more on that in a later reading).

It also means that as my family’s head, my behavior and reputation affect how people look at them. This is a fact not to be denied. As lives the husband/dad so lives the reputation of the family. It’s a stark, in your face reality that our wives and kids good name is wrapped up in whether or not we have one.

Further, it means that my deliberations, decisions, and commitments will, for better or worse, represent and affect them. No decision we ever make is made in isolation. Every choice—good or bad—will become a family choice by virtue of our representative role in their lives.

Most of all, this truth means that when we gather on That Day, I will stand at the head of my family to give an account of all it will have become. And so will every man who has ever said “I do”. This truth introduces an accountability quotient into our lives that has fearful implications. I will have to give an account for my family’s condition that my wife will not have to give, because I have a role she does not have.

Thinking on such things can generate fear and dread in sensitive souls. That’s why we’d do well to end today’s reading where everything begins for the Christian: we are in Christ. Let’s remember that in all our doings and strivings and tryings and failings in life we have One Who got the Representative Role down perfect—and we stand in Him.

I am accepted by God, loved by God, and considered perfect by God because there is One before God who represents me, and in Whom I stand complete and accepted. And so are you if you trust in Jesus as your Savior and Lord (Ephesians 1:3-6).

Application and Reflection Exercises

1. Try to express the message of this meditation in your own words.
2. What are five facts about you that the ones you represent (your wife and children) would be honored by?
3. Try to communicate the idea of being “in Christ” in your own words.
4. There are examples in the Bible of husbands and dads bringing sorrow on their families by their sins and failures. Look up the following and note your thoughts (Adam: 1 Cor. 15:27; Achan: Josh. 7:1-26; Ananias: Acts 5:1-11).
5. There are also examples in the Bible of men doing good, and thereby blessing those they represent. Look up these references to see what blessings do others receive when men are faithful: Christ (Rom. 5:17-21); David (2 Chron. 6:14-17); “Those who fear God” (Psa. 103:17-18).