Imaging the Son

I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ…
Christ is the head of the church…
This mystery [found in marriage and husband headship] is profound,
and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.

(1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23, 32)


In Scripture, a mystery is not an unsolved problem, but a truth once obscured or hidden, and now revealed. For example, that Gentiles would have an equal place with Jews in the saving purposes of God in Christ was a truth largely obscured in the Old Testament, but now fully revealed in the gospel (Ephesians 3:3-6). I, for one, am glad it is.

Ephesians 5:32 tells us that a mystery-truth has been hidden in the marriage relationship. It is the relationship of Christ with His Church. This means that God created marriage with more in mind than simply meeting a human need, or accomplishing His purpose to have men rule the world with the help of women. He certainly had these things in mind, but there was more He was pursuing. God created marriage, and the husband’s role in it, to reveal truths that were hidden in His heart: the truth that He loves and leads the Church and is her Head and Husband, and the truth that He has forever loved the Church so much that He would be willing to give Himself for her.

So husbands are revelations of truth. As we men love and lead our wives and families we reveal the mystery of Christ’s love for the Church. As we pour out our lives in leadership care, and selfless nourishing grace, we reveal the truth of Christ’s heart for His Bride.

Brothers, we are to our wives what Christ is to the Church. We’ll be unpacking that more but for now the idea itself is enough to amaze and inspire: we are called to reveal Christ by imaging Christ. The idea is also enough to convict and grieve, for how well and how accurately have I been representing Christ to a watching wife, and family, and world?

There’s a lot more to the way I’ve represented Christ to others in my love for Gayline than would be seen in my sins and mistakes. By the grace of God I think that others have seen something of His love lived out through me to her. But I’m very aware of a distorted image of Christ’s love which others will have gained from seeing mine.

Gayline (along with others) has seen me be self-indulgent, selfish, and mean spirited. They’ve seen me react with only my pleasure in view. They have seen me procrastinate and simply ignore responsibilities and be lazy and be unkind. All too often it’s just not been pretty, and the image I’ve reflected of the love of Christ has been so distorted that it dishonored Him much.

But that said, grace can and does triumph over sin. And as I continue to give life over to God and the gospel and the sanctifying work of the Spirit, little glimpses of Christ-like love and kindness and sacrifice can be seen in me—and the purpose for marriage is realized. It’s amazing, humbling, and yes, inspiring to become even more of what he wants me to be.

Hey guys, before I wrap this up, can I say one more thing? This truth about marriage being intended to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church is one reason why we cannot cave in on the gender debates and must boldly be vocal for the truth. I’m not sure where you may stand on the roles issue, but I think we have to stand pretty firm and courageous for the biblical roles for this very reason: if the roles of marriage are obscured, God’s purpose for marriage will be obscured as well.

God created the husband’s headship role to reveal truth about His Son. There’s more at stake in these debates than chauvinists’ pride or feminists’ freedom. Truth about Jesus is at stake. Truth about how Jesus loves and leads us (and about how we are to follow and respect Him) is meant to be revealed in marriage. Blur the roles, and you hide the truth.

That said, let’s be amazed and inspired! Note that I didn’t say, “Let’s be proud and arrogant!” Guys we didn’t ask for or earn this role; we were born into it by being boys. We had no say. Besides, the role is more a call to sacrifice than a call to prominence. After all, the primary expression of Christ’s headship love mentioned in Ephesians is His laying down of His life. So let’s answer the call and be clear consistent revelations of Jesus’ amazing love to our families and world. Let’s reveal the mystery to all!

Application and Reflection Exercises

1. Write down some reflections about the love of Christ for you and for His Church. How does he demonstrate and prove that love? And how does that make you feel?
2. If a husband’s love is supposed to be a reflection of Christ’s love, how is your reflection of Christ’s love coming across to others? In what ways do you think your love is a reasonably accurate (not necessarily perfect) reflection of your Savior’s love?
3. How is your present love for your wife misrepresenting the love of Christ to her and others?
4. In the meditation we are exhorted to be committed to Biblical roles. What is the reason given for this, and does it make sense?
5. What are two specific applications of this meditation that you plan to make?

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